Kam Patterson on Kill Tony

around her was like coming down and she know how to feel. And I just asked her, I said, "Well, what did we learn?" And then she went,

"Don't fuck your boyfriend's favorite comedian."

He hit that bitch with a bag of rocks.

a good old-fashioned Eiffel Tower, dog. That's a great court memory for two straight young men. When one of them become gay,

that's a totally different memory, dog.

"What do you mean you gay?" And he looked at me and he went, "Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha."

"You know how I stayed hard the whole time?"

And I went home and I cried that night.

Nothing. We were fucking, I go, "Baby, did you come?" And she would go, "No."

And I would go, "Damn, good night every time.

Two bad bits, good night every single time."

"Oh my God, what's going on?" And then, right when I started to think about it, The mushrooms kicked in and my brain just went,

you gonna let that white boy out fuck you, nigga?

'Cause every time I go to a club, they pat me down, they always touch my dick. My dick get touched every single time.

And if the club is full, they probably touch 200 dicks.

It's a lot of dicks to touch, it's a straight man.

Gay ass nigga, that's crazy.

There's gonna be a bunch of little dick,

they don't little dick dance and shit like that.

You know what I mean?

I'm a damn appreciate it.

I went to my cousin's wedding this weekend,

and I cussed out the maid of honor.

Uh, she was a bitch. She deserved it, though.

She deserved it, though.

And then a fat bitch came out.

It's always a fat bitch around somewhere.

I fucking hate this holiday. Nigga, it's terrible. It's the gayest holiday ever. It's an excuse white people to get drunk

and then try to touch you. That's all it is.

For real. Watch it. Watch this.

L, G-B-T-Q, that's gay.

Nigga, gay as hell.

Y'all thought I was finna spell leprechaun,

funny if I could've pulled it off. But it would've been cool to do that in like 19, like 32. You take over a whole fucking town, nigga.

They be like, this nigga's a witch!

And a nigga, what's up?

Fuck going on here, man.

of the United States. And then when I was in third grade, in 2008, Barack Obama became the first black president

and that fat nigga took my dreams from me.

And I so cracked the next day.

and y'all see 'em like on the street. Y'all just walk by, like, they're not real people. But I had crackheads in my family.

So crackheads had my phone number, you understand?

That's a different type of relationship with a crackhead.

I ain't even know daughter-genera had like corporate. I just imagine a guy like me like,

fuck nigga, you're fired.

It's over, boss, get the fuck out of here, dog, it's over.

I was in LA, I was around the fires, I was there.

I blame the gays.

That's who I blame for.

Fuck your hometown." and I'm gonna get a cigarillo, unravel it, put weed in it, and smoke it

as if it was your dead homeboy.

That's what he said to me.

and I hate somebody talking about my city. I'm sorry." Well, he doesn't know that when it comes to the show,

we gonna beat the shit out of him.